So today was our parent/teacher conference with Brook’s preschool teacher. This morning we went into the classroom to observe how the class works and how Brook interacts with the other children. She was adorable, working on her math lesson, putting together puzzles and offering us a cup of water on a tray. She started the Montessori in January and we have seen her excel in her studies there. So we though we were going to have a great report when we went back this afternoon for a one on one with her teacher. It wasn’t the “she’s perfect in every way” speech I was hoping for.
Instead, we got there and Ms. Rocio asked if we could describe the good and the bad of Brook. One parent went out of the classroom and said what they felt was the positive and negative aspects of Brook’s personality and then we switched. We basically said the same things…We said in not so many words, that she is strong, vivacious, confident, stubborn, needs to listen better and shows both positive and negative emotions in good and bad ways.
And then the bomb dropped…”I feel that your daughter has violent tendencies.” WHAT!!! No, not my daughter…I mean she can throw one hell of a tantrum and she will verbally fight us on things that she doesn’t want or like, but aren’t all three year olds like that? Then we were told that she will hit/kick/push the other kids more than normal…she will interrupt the other kids work on purpose and oh yes my favorite…she has written in a book that we now will have to replace. She is violent and she destroyed school property, great!
So, we talked about how we can help her talk through her feelings better, how saying sorry doesn’t mean anything if there is no positive action after the fact and that doing mean or negative things have more severe consequences then what we are already doing. The thing that gets me is we don’t let her get away with things at home. We are equal partners in parenting so we always have each others backs when it comes to disciplining and we discipline often and we follow through with whatever we say…good or bad. I knew she was going through a trying time, but I had no idea it was this severe. I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE! I feel that everything we have done is for naught and that although my discipline is what the books and professionals say I should do, it’s obviously not working. So back to the drawing board. We will create a good, respectful, peaceful, confident, smart and outgoing girl yet.
On the plus side, she did say that Brook is one of the smartest three year olds in the class and she is always impressed by her education skills. At least there was something positive said.
We are going to have mini talks every Thursday to touch base and to hopefully talk about the improvements that Brook is making…please oh please let there be positive change.
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