These words will get you every time…

I totally think the kids are going to let me sleep in today!

Whenever those words pass through your lips or enter your brain…the complete opposite will happen…guaranteed!

Last night, Blake slept till 5:03am.  When I heard him and noticed the time, I was screaming internally, “YES!  He let me sleep in past 3am and it’s still early enough that he will go back to sleep…It’s a dream come true!”

So, I went into his room to go change his diaper and to give him a bottle and some medicine (he’s still got a little stuffiness going on).  The plan was working out beautifully, he didn’t even need a diaper change since it was basically dry.  He is taking his bottle and getting sleepy and then “IT” happened.  He started to pee and instead of the perfectly dry diaper containing his urine, his piss went all over his pajamas, my legs, the chair and the floor.  Nothing like getting a warm pee shower at the start of your 5am day!

Well I had to change him into dry clothes and a new diaper and then clean up myself and the room so the sleepy baby was no longer sleepy.  Crap on a stick!  Oh, and by the way…the diaper was still bone dry…it was a malfunctioning diaper.  Thanks Huggies!

Okay so he is now dry and clean and I am now dry and clean and I try to get him to go back to sleep with the 2oz of formula that he hasn’t drank down yet.  It actually starts to work when…

A blood curdling “MMMMOOOOOOMMMMM” comes from Brook’s room.

OMG I freak out!  What do I do with Blake?  Put him in the crib?  No, he isn’t done with his bottle.  Call for Travis?  No, he is dead to the world…if he didn’t hear that scream, he isn’t waking up.  So, I rush with Blake into Brook’s room to see why she is screaming bloody murder at 5:20 in the morning…

It’s because she thinks the monsters are coming.

Great!  Well of course the monsters are coming, since we are ALL up except Daddy who is snoring loud enough to sound like a monster.  The monsters think, “hey isn’t this about time breakfast is served at the Newman house…let’s get some waffles!”

I calmly tell Brook there are no monsters and that she is in the safest room in the house and there is no where safer for her to be than in this house with Mommy, Daddy and Blake…safe, safe, safe!  So, I then tell her to go back to sleep, “see the clock?  It’s waaaaay earlier than 7am.  I’ll see you then, love you.”

Now Blake has one ounce left and I really try to make that work, it doesn’t.  Well, I’ll let him cry it out a bit and see what happens.

Just as I was getting back into bed…Brook starts crying.

Go to Brook’s room…those pesky monsters are still bothering her, wanting their Newman waffle breakfast.

“Sweetie, please believe me, there are no monster’s here!  It is crazy early and you really need to get back to sleep.”

I leave and realize Blake will not stop crying.  Maybe two more ounces will help him nod off.  It’s now around 5:38am or so.  I give him the formula and miracle of miracle he nods off.  One down.

Brook is still freaking out…apparently the monsters now want to play legos and listen to rap music.

“Brook, honey…no monsters.  Here let me rub your back and soothe you into a lovely rainbow and butterfly type of sleep.”  She calms down and I leave her room as she slowly drifts off.

AHHHHH…my bed feels lovely, it’s exactly 6am.  Well, now I am fully awake although, I don’t want to be.  Travis is snoring a symphony and I just can’t sleep when he snores.  I force him to turn to his side hoping that it stops the noise, but it only decreases it slightly.  I figure if I lay here long enough I will get back to sleep and since both kids are now asleep themselves, that should at least buy me a full hour of rest.

CRAP…I promised sleep to myself again…have I not learned anything?!

6:30am…”Mom, I’m ready!”

This is Brook’s way of telling me, she will not sleep any more and the day has begun.  Brilliant me takes a DVD and the DVD player into her room and informs her that this device will be babysitting her in her bed until Mommy can at least get one more hour of sleep in.  Here you go, enjoy, don’t burn the house down making more waffles for our monster friends who woke you up so early.

I did get that extra hour, but it wasn’t a restful one.  I ended up having one of those weird dreams where you try to wake yourself up in the dream only to find that you can’t and then once you do wake up, you don’t feel rested.  Aw well, it was worth the try and the DVD player did a fabulous job of babysitting my daughter who didn’t move one muscle while it was taking care of her.

So, Brook and I got up and shortly after Blake joined the group.  Dad was the last one to get out of bed and he was ignorant to the fact that a party of who is going to keep Mom up started bright and early this morning.

Good Times…

Needless to say, I drank a bucket-load of coffee this morning and I could really use a nap.

Please sleep gods, make the monsters visit another house tomorrow…I don’t have the energy to deal with them again!

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Tags: Blake, Brook, Life, Parenting

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