So right now both kids are in there room crying.  Blake, because he probably isn’t quite tired yet since he slept most of the day and also because he is slightly under the weather and Brook is having one of her nighttime fits.

I blame myself for these fits…

See, I think my brain shuts off at 7pm, like it wants to check out for the night, but since this job is 24/7 I can’t quite do that.  Unfortunately, my emotions get the best of me, so I tend to loose it around this time.  Tonight she wouldn’t brush her teeth and take her medicine.  Bribery wasn’t working and the punishments weren’t working…so I did the only thing I knew, which was get pissed off.  I know, I’m the adult and I know that I should have a more calm demeanor, but I ended up brushing her teeth for her which she hated and after her spitting out the medicine twice, Travis came in to make sure the medicine went in…not fun.

So now she’s crying because books and songs aren’t being done tonight and when I gave in and told her I would sing her a song…she said she needed a book too…Needless to say, that broke the song deal all together.

Ahhhhh power struggles…don’t ya just love them.

I wish I could handle them with grace and ease, but I haven’t thus far…there is always tomorrow.  I just hate when I raise my voice and get angry.  It’s like I’m her own personal monster.  Maybe I am…Mother and monster sounds kinda close.

Okay…the house has calmed down.  Travis soothed Brook to sleep and Blake gave into sleep.  Deep breath as I say to myself, “it can only get better.”  Tomorrow, I will be more calm…Tomorrow I will try to step back and calm myself before making any decision that isn’t ideal.  Tomorrow I WILL handle difficult situations with style and grace…I will try to be a better Mother.

Man, I was such a great Mother before I was a Mother.  Anyway, nighty night all…we will try to get it right again tomorrow.

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Tags: Blake, Brook, fussy

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