Some things brother's and sister's just share.  These two have the exact same smirk that make them look like a little "piggy" when the scrunch up their nose…I love it!

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Jon Troast

The story goes like this…

Four summer’s ago, Travis, Brook and I went to Lake Geneva, WI to go hang out and grab a bite to eat for lunch.  It was our first summer at our lake cabin in Burlington, WI and we were exploring nearby towns.  We went into the sandwich shop Potbelly and chilled out with a few sammies.  While we were there, Jon Troast was playing some awesome cover music plus a few songs of his own.  We were quite impressed with his talent and couldn’t believe that he was playing in the sandwich shop instead of a record studio.  I bought his CD, Second Story and thanked him for entertaining us and we were on our way…

If CD’s were anything like the old tapes, I would have worn it out I listened to it so much.  He really has a unique song writing voice and it’s real and heartfelt.  I love this CD!

Now honestly I didn’t follow him on the internet or anything.  I just was happy having his CD in my collection and telling my friends and family about this local Wisconsin artist…

Then last year when Travis and I went out to see a movie at the Showboat in Lake Geneva, we noticed that he was going to preform a concert and we said to ourselves…”Let’s go!”

And we did…We had no idea that it was the special 100th concert from his 100 concerts in 100 days tour.  Basically he drove himself around the country and played in peoples homes for $100.00 for 100 days with one concert each day.  And the concert that we went to was his 100th.  It was amazing, but I must tell you that I kinda felt like a fraud fan since I didn’t know much of his music other than the one album.  Nonetheless he had an amazing performance and I bought another album A Person and a Heart.  Yup, fell in love with that one too!  My favorite part is that Brook loves to sing to Track 2, What We Become, and nothing is cuter than a 4 year old singing!

So now I am jealous that 99 people had Jon Troast playing at their homes and I wasn’t “with it” to be one of those people.  I instantly became a fan of his on facebook and on his website and wrote a handful of times begging him to come to Phoenix.

And then he sent out an email saying he was doing another living room concert tour and he wanted to know if he could stop by my house.

Is HELL YEAH enough of a yes for you!?

Okay, so I didn’t say hell, but I did accept and now after some planning, he is coming here tomorrow!  I have invited all of my local friends and family and we are going to cram in this house to eat some yummy pasta and listen to some amazing music.  I can’t wait.  I will fill you all in later but for now, please go and take a listen to his stuff….He is really great and he just wants to play music and be heard.  Here is a youtube video of one of his songs for those interested….Love it!

I’m just so passionate about people who go after their dream…that live their lives knowing that today is the day to make it happen, whatever it is.  And to be witness to that, is an honor…so Jon if you read this, thank you for letting us witness your talent and passion.  We are happy and honored to have you in our home.

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My goals were made before January 1st, but I am just getting to writing them down and committing them to blog world memory.  Don’t worry, I won’t get to the Christmas blog until even later…backwards I know, but hey my blog…my choice!

So without further adieu…

1 – Re-instating the Athletic Challenge of 2007 for a second time…We will call it the Athletic Challenge of 2010!  The premises is to commit to one athletic event in which I propel my body at least 6 miles or a minimum of a 10k.  Shannon and I did it in 2007 and succeeded with flying colors.  The greatest part is we became extremely fit and healthy as a consequence.  So, hopefully that same outcome will occur.  I can’t blame my monster thighs and jelly like belly on just having a baby any more!  No Excuses!

2 – I want to learn how to properly fillet a whole fish and how to “french” a rack of lamb…I will need to take a class to learn those techniques.  For those of you who don’t know what a “french” rack of lamb looks like, here is a picture.

Rack of Lamb that is "French-Cut"

3 – I want to organize all the cabinets in my house.  If you come over, chances are you’ll find a relatively clean environment.  Things are where they should be and we are clean, neat and tidy.  DON’T LOOK IN THE CABINETS or THE LAUNDRY ROOM!  Chances are you will be injured when things come toppling over.  We just throw everything in “there” and close the door.  It’s our nasty little secret and it is my intention to fix it this year.  So far, I have cleaned, organized and labeled the playroom and the kitchen pantry…So far so good!

So, that’s it…all doable and all needed.  Updates will of course be posted.  Good luck to me!

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What you may say?  Don’t you live in Arizona?

I do, but my loyalties will always be to the Packers…they were my first football love.

Anyway, as we were leaving Brook threw a mad fit because I wasn’t going home right away.  Instead, Shannon and I were going to spend a couple of hours together at the book store and getting massages.

Brook: (screaming) “Mommy don’t leave me!!!”

Me: “But you can go home and have some fun with Daddy…I’ll be home soon.”

Brook: (even louder screaming) “But, I want you to come home too!”

Me: “Honey, we spent the whole day together, remember?”

Brook: “But, I want you spend the whole night together too!”

Me: “Okay, I’m leaving now…I love you!”

Brook: (In a calm voice among her tears) “Well then bring me back a present Mommy.”

Me: “No way Jose…I just bought you new bedding for your room and a Valentine’s Day Shirt from Old Navy…I bought you enough presents today”

Brook: (Starting to get a loud cry again) “You didn’t buy me any presents today because none of that are toys!”

I swear I can’t win…and for the record…she DIDN’T get a “toy” present last night and I did run away for two hours and she was just fine.  But, I have to give props to her because that was some damn smart thinking!

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Me:   “We are going to go and buy new bedding for you bedroom.”

Brook:  “No thank you, it doesn’t sound like fun.”

Me:  “But, it’s for your bedroom…we will have fun.”

Brook:  (Rolls her eyes while saying this) “Shopping is boring Mom.”

Spoken like a true four year old!

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We were in Vegas for a couple of days, living it up and having fun while Abby watched the kids.  When we came home she said everything went great and the kids were awesome…

Oh and Blake is eating like food is going out of style…

I should have realized she was telling me the poop of the century was about to erupt like a volcano and form a whole new portion of Earth called Poopland.

The day started out innocently enough.  We ran around town doing errands and catching up on non-holiday stuff.  Then we made a stop at Whole Foods for some lunch and shopping.  I am re-stocking our house with fresh wholesome food instead of all the crap we have been eating since Thanksgiving.

It always has to happen in public places…

While we were shopping I noticed the face…you know that I’m squirting a doosy of a twosie out Mom kind of face.  I figured no biggie, they have a nice bathroom with a place to change him so we should be fine…

Should is the right word.

We get into the bathroom and I check the damage…the diaper is completely full…so is his pants, so is his shirt, so is his back.  Okay, I’ve dealt with explosions before, this shouldn’t be a problem…

Did I mention his a wiggle worm now???

Oh yes, that started too.  Now it’s on my hands, my shirt, his hair, his hands and even in that tiny crevice of the “safety” belt that they put on a changing table that absolutely no one uses.  The poop is wedged in  that crevice…Awesome!

I finally kind of get us cleaned and get him changed into a new “just in case” outfit and I attempt to clean the changing table…Well hell, I’m just going to leave the rest of the cleaning of that to the staff here because now my half dirty kid is crawling on the really gross floor in the bathroom, trying to get some more gross germs on him because he doesn’t have enough from his own bodily waste.  Sweet!

I wash the both of us up the best I can in the sink and get back to our cart so we can pay up and get us home.  We both need to be bathed and sanitized.

Don’t worry, I told the staff about the changing table…hopefully someone got right on top of that.

Now we are checking out and I am getting all the groceries out when I discover…yes this is true and beyond gross…there is Blake poop on a portion of the groceries in the cart.  And not just a tini-tiny bit…oh no, there is like a plethora of poop, just sitting there, contaminating a whole slew of things.  The check out people look at me as if I’m one of the grossest, stupidest people that they know.  Luckily someone hands me a container of sanitation wipes and a garbage and I go to town throwing away the food that can no longer be eaten and clean off the cart.  Oh, the part where Blake sits has poop all over it too.  How I didn’t see this before I put him back into the cart is beyond me…so you guessed it, he is now covered in the poo once again…This day cannot get any better!

I continue to clean it all up, pay for what was still okay and embarrassingly get the hell out of there.  One of the employees follow me and the cart out to my car so that he can then take said cart and burn it out back once we are done with it.  He proceeds to tell me that he thought the grossest thing he’s ever seen before was a dirty wet diaper in the grocery cart, but this…this was just spectacularly worse than that.  Thanks Dude, I needed that pep talk!

We get home, we bathe, we change, we finally get clean…the joys of being a Mommy

So to recap, Blake ate a shitload of food for a couple of days and in the span of thirty seconds at Whole Foods gets rid of it.  The poop was so immense that it went up and out of his diaper like a waterfall into the cart full of groceries.  We go through two sets of clothing and forced the grocery store to probably destroy the cart and the changing table because there was no other choice in the matter.

Blake, you are one nasty dude…you are sooooo very lucky that you are cute…oh and yes I will tell your girlfriends this story when you are older, I don’t care how embarrassed you get because it will be just a little payback…Love you!

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But, our cards haven’t been done yet, there is still tons of shopping left and Brook is home on break, so my work is cut out for me.  Therefore, the mass amount of stories will just have to wait and to keep all of you happy in the mean time, I will post the funniest thing Blake has done thus far!

This is a video recording his reaction to the first Christmas gift he has ever gotten…

It’s AWESOME!

Have a Merry Merry!  Love Me!

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How did that work out?  It didn’t…

Pretending to be something…someone who you are not is exhausting and just so fake.  I know that sounds obvious, but when you are “acting” you don’t always see the obvious.

Sometime in my early 20′s, I just stopped caring what others thought of me…Don’t get me wrong, I still like being liked, but I stopped caring if everyone liked me.  I learned that discovering who I was and becoming the best person that I could become was more important than what others thought of me.  It was freeing…

Why all this confidence nostalgia?  Well, because I’m about to talk about something that everyone will judge me over.  I thought about talking about this for weeks now, but was chicken to because I didn’t want people to gossip about me…to judge me.

But, here is the thing, this part of my life is who I am for the moment and to not talk about it is killing me.  I also think maybe, someone who I don’t even know will one day read this and realize that she isn’t alone…someone else when though similar feelings, similar struggles.

Okay…wow what a introduction for me telling you all that I have Postpartum Depression.

Are you rolling your eyes saying, “Um, really, pretty much all women go through some form of this.”

Yeah, I know, but I have it pretty bad.  It’s paralyzing and it’s one of the hardest emotional roller coasters that I have ever gone through.

I had it for just a brief moment when Brook was born.  But, after I started exercising and getting accustomed to my new life, it went away.

It hasn’t gone away with this birth and Blake is already 10 months old.

For 10 months, my life has been crashing down all around me.  I’ve been living in a fog and hiding from my problems through sleeping and ignoring.

What does it feel like?  Imagine everything is good in your life but you are still sad.

I have everything I want and need in my life…I want for nothing, yet I’m swallowed in a sea of sadness…I’m in a fog.

Things that bring me joy now bring me sadness and I’ve done a really good job at hiding who I really am for the last few months…because no one likes to be around a sad person.  Especially since they have no reason to be sad.

I have talked to my doctors and they all assure me that this is completely normal and that I shouldn’t feel ashamed.

But, I am extremely ashamed…

I am ashamed of being a cry-baby, of not being able to get out of this…

I am ashamed that I can’t control who I am…that my hormones have gotten the best of me.

I am ashamed of being on medication for the past two months…for having to be on drugs to make me want to get up and out of bed in the morning.

Why can’t I just get over this on my own?

The medication was working…I say was because I made the stupid mistake of thinking that I was better…because I was feeling better.  So I went off the medication, against my doctor’s advise and now I am back at square 1.  I am still at the mercy of my hormones and the medication.

I feel like the biggest loser ever.

Why cant I just be happy on my own?

I know, start taking the medication again moron and I’ll feel better…but, I just feel…hopeless, helpless and sad.

Why can’t I just be back to normal on my own?

My life doesn’t suck, but this depression does and I hate everything about it.

So, it’s back on the meds I go.  My doctor wants me on them for 6 months.  She said while I don’t have extreme Postpartum, I do have a decent depression going on.

So this is one of my dark secrets…I need help to be happy.  I am ashamed and embarrassed, but it’s a part of who I am at this time.

And I can no longer ignore it.

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Travis When He Was a Baby

So…yes, he was an amazingly cute baby and you can see his red hair already!  And also, my children look exactly like him…I know this and now you do too!

Back to my story…

I believe Grandpa Newman started a tradition of giving the baby their first taste of ice cream.  He was delighted to see the faces of the babies as they discover the wonderful new flavor and texture of this famous desert.  What started with Travis continues into the next generation!  Brook was given her first taste of ice cream on Thanksgiving of 2005.  It was her first turkey day and the first day she learned ice cream is good.

Brook at 4 Months Trying Ice Cream for the First Time

So fast forward to this past Thanksgiving.  The tradition has continued and Grandpa Jay gave Blake his very first bite of ice cream.

Blake Having His First Bite of Ice Cream

Both kids liked this tradition, although I think both of them were a little wierded out by the coldness of the dessert.  The fact that both of them tried ice cream for the first time on Thanksgiving is completely coincidental.  It’s just that this is a family event and since all the family likes to witness this tradition, Thanksgiving seems the appropriate time.  We were also able to get a picture of four generations of Newman boys…this is a great shot!

Four Generations of Newman Men

Grandpa Newman couldn’t resist giving Blake a few bites of ice cream also…

I’m not going to wish life away, but I must admit that one day, when it’s Travis’s turn to give the ice cream to the grandchildren, I’ll fondly look back and remember when my babies had their turn…

Gotta love traditions

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But, since this blog is a diary of my families life, I want to play catch up on what has happened for the past couple of weeks…

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend.  It started out on Wednesday.  Brook’s school had a Thanksgiving Potluck in which we all brought a dish to share.  The kids sang some songs and said a prayer and then we all got to dig in.  This year I made a green bean casserole from scratch and I must say that it was fantastic.  I don’t have the recipe written yet, but it’s what I took to the school and it was amazing.  I also brought a homemade stuffing and it was pretty darn good too, although it just was a basic sausage and cranberry stuffing.

Brook and Ellie Dressed for the Thanksgiving Feast at School

On Thursday, I got up and dragged my Mom and my neighbor Scott to a running event.  I figured if I was going to eat a bajillion calories, I should at least try to combat it with a 10-mile running event.  It was a great event…we ran in Peoria and it was a beautiful trail that was along a canal.  I felt pretty good during the whole race and although it was a really big challenge I finished around 1 hour and 45 minutes.  Not bad considering that the last time I ran that kind of distance was before I started to try and have baby #2.  I feel like I am ready for the PF Chang’s Half this January!

Scott, Mom and Myself at the Turkey Run

After the run, we went to our Aunt Julie’s house for the feast.  Now you may wonder why the biggest and most important meal of the year wasn’t at my house.  Well, it was supposed to, but Julie called me and wanted it to be at her house and even though I did miss making the big meal, I certainly didn’t miss cleaning before and after the meal.  Therefore, I was happy to pass the reins over to her and only make a harvest salad to share that day.

Our Thanksgiving Table

We soon found out why Julie wanted Thanksgiving at her house.  We all went around the table telling the family what we are grateful for and when it came around to Cole, he got down on one knee and proposed to Christine!  It was so wonderful to share such an intimate moment with them.  Let me tell you, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.  She, of course, said yes and we are so happy to be welcoming her into our little clan!

Cole Proposing to Christine

On Friday we made our way down to Tucson to have Thanksgiving dinner #3!  Yes, now it’s time to loosen that belt on our jeans!  But, this holiday is all about family and eating, so we had to make sure we did it up right!  So we all got into our Jeep and took the two hour drive to my Aunt’s house for yet another awesome meal!

Baby Blake with Baby Waldo at the Tucson Thanksgiving

My cousin and her boyfriend bought a new puppy that day and we all had a blast playing with new baby Waldo!  We also met JJ’s grandparents for the first time and his Grandma, “Ya-Ya,” literally was the cutest person I ever met.  She is Thai and about 4’9″ and 80 lbs and she was completely in love with Blake.  She tried carrying him around everywhere and since he is like 1/4 of her weight, it wasn’t an easy feat.  She loved playing with Blake and he instantly fell in love with her, it was adorable!

Saturday we decided to take down the fall decorations and start trimming the tree…It was great to just be home and to relax and ring in the Christmas season!

Brook and Blake Checking Out the New Trimmed Tree

Finally, we get to the GRAND FINISH!  On Sunday we celebrated my 32nd birthday!  It started with sleeping in which is a rare luxury for me.  Then we went out all together to a Family Birthday Breakfast Brunch.  After that, I forced Shannon to steal me away.  We went shopping, got a massage and then got a pedicure.  It’s become a tradition between Shanny and I.  This type of day is a must for both of our birthday’s and I tell you I wouldn’t have it any other way!

All Dressed Up for My 32nd Birthday!

Then I came home and got dolled up and Travis and I went to our favorite date night place, Flemings.  It was fantastic like always!  Then we met back up with Shannon and a few other friends for some birthday drinks and antics.  I won’t say much more other than it was a birthday that I will never forget!

Hanging Out with Some Friends on My Birthday.

All in all, it was an amazing weekend!  We really kicked up our heels, gained some weight and made some wonderful memories.  Hopefully I can keep up on writing a little bit better from now on…

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